My one and only

Whaddup home brehs GossipGoat checking in here! 

Prepare to be amazed. Thats right you aint never seen a car like dis b4. Today I will be reviewing BEV! (ok stop applauding). BEV aka 1995 Holden Barina is my ride of choice(well not really of choice, but okay).

A little bit of context... BEV and I first came into contact about 3 years ago when GossipGoat was a little eager beaver to get a car to stick my big fat red p plates on oh yeah red p plate move out of my way.

BEV, besides being a beautiful piece of machinery also has a great personality. You really need to get to know your vehicle on a personal level before you can write a review on it. Luckily BEV and I have been together for the past 3 years and through countless ups and downs she has been there for me when no one else would/could OR should. 

She kindly gave full consent for me to write her best features and post them up on this blog! OK LETS GO...

This first great thing about BEV is..............ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............

Just kidding there are heaps of cool things! There is a lot of space allocated on the side of doors to store rubbish, including empty pk packets and receipts.

She is agile and petite so you can fit her in almost ALL parking spaces!

She’s also got a really sick tattoo of a pussy cat and a muscle man on her back window! dayummmmm juiceyyyy!

Alright fine! There aint that many great things about BEV. Besides the fact that she can get any ordinary human for A to B. (notice i said ordinary because if you way more than 100kg you’re in for a bumpy ride ;) )

BEV currently rocks a fresh hole in the exhaust so she is no ordinary sounding barina more like a barrari (barina+ferrari=barrari) she also rolls around on 4 mag wheels which could possibly add up to the entire width of the car anyway, but hey nothing is too much for my BEV.

Her 1.4L engine is perfect on petrol consumption never costing over $40 to fill the petrol tank to FULL. THATS RIGHT $40 = FULL HAHAHAHA sucker!

BEV is also supporting a funky fresh smell of fruity vibrance, because if yo car dun smell like fruity vibrance you’re gonna have a bad time..

ALL IN ALL BEV is the bombdigidy (to me) and I would never have it any other way (probably would if I had more money)

BEV4EVA 

GossipGoat signing out  - L8rzzzzz

Runnin' With the Devil

Hola, my name is Ramonito, your friendly, slightly Mexican car reviewer. What's that? You smell sulfur? RED DEVIL COMIN' FOR YOU. Today I will be reviewing my beloved whip, the Red Devil. There may or may not be pictures depending on whether or not she lets me close to her today. She's camera shy, you see.

The Red Devil is actually a 1994 Toyota Corolla (I know right? FRIGGIN' BEAST). She was bestowed upon me by my parents who hustled her off of a mate in game of mahjong. She's got low kms for her age, as she was only used during full moons for ritualistic purposes, and for picking up kids from school 5 minutes away. Just walk, far out. Anyway, she packs a whopping 0.8L engine, because clearly 1L engines wouldn't make sense at all. She's got no window tint 'cause she ain't scared of a little melanoma. She has no cup holders because don't drink and drive obviously. Only the front speakers work consistently because if you're sitting in the back, I don't want you to hear what kind of music I'm playing. She's dark red just like Satan. She's got these sick, black plastic hub caps which were given to me by Santa Claus for Christmas 2010 (YEAH, I STILL BELIEVE, WHAT?). Overall, I would say that she looks like a red Batmobile, if Batman was a poor Filipino boy.

OH, BUT HOW SHE RUNS. Don't let her 0.8L fool you, this baby packs a poke. How much of a poke? Try 0-100 in about 2 minutes on the M4. Holla. I've never gone to 110 though because my car started shaking. She takes hills like a cyclist of average fitness, unless you turn on the air conditioning, in which case you have about as much horsepower as a pram with fat twins in it. CHILDHOOD OBESITY. NOT FUNNY. She seems to run faster when I play Van Halen on my iPod. She handles like a Mario Kart ever since I got the left drive shaft replaced. Not sure what that means, but my mechanic didn't speak English very well so he must be good. I can now successfully evade police* and have done so on several occasions.

*if they are parked 

Now please excuse me while I attempt to take some pictures of this elusive creatures. I may or may not return, so here is a video to watch while I'm away. Wish me luck.

WHEW. WELL. THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE. I had to Steve Irwin my way around her in order to get some good shots but I managed to get them. Here's a few pictures of the Red Devil in her natural habitat, my driveway.

The Red Devil

Them Rims

Interior. Those brown stains are chocolate, I promise.

Back seat. aka my dining room.

Poor Filipino Batman in a poor Filipino Batmobile

So that's my ride. Respect her or she will eat you. Posting this a day early, I'm going on a road trip tomorrow. RED DEVIL RIDIN'. Laters

-Ramonito