Once you're soaked it doesn't matter if it's raining.

Yo, I am anxzibitinyoxzibit and I review cars man.

I don't know anything about cars really, but I promise to try.

I know stuff about chainsaws and tractors, they're like cars right?

Anyway, about my own car.

When my truly awful Magna finally died for good early last year I decided to see how I would fare going carless. It was nice. I live close to University and a good train station so getting where I need to go was not too problematic. I am firmly in the minority that believes, all things considered, Sydney public transport is good enough (the other members of this minority consist of Gladys Berejiklian and this one guy who lives and works near Town Hall station). I enjoyed not having a car, that feeling of dependence on others, the way people roll their eyes when you tell them you choose not to own a car. It's heaps good man. Alas, the time came when I needed to return to my job on a farm out west and with that came the realisation that I needed a car to get to work to earn $$$$ to pay for the car that I needed to get the $$$$$ to justify owning a car again. Awesome.

My vehicular standards were low; all I was looking for was something that ticked these boxes:

• Less that $2000.
• More than 6 months rego.
• More than one functioning speaker.
• Front wheel drive so I can actually get off the farm after it rains and turns all driveways into muddy trails of mud.
• Barbie themed seat belt pad things 'cause seat belts are wicked uncomfortable.
• A smell of burning oil.
• A cracked radiator.
• I could fit inside it (being 6' 6” is awesome).

After hours of trolling through Gumtree, I found it. My car. A 1994 Camry. It had everything I wanted and nothing more. The roof lining sagged onto my head, the Barbie seat belt covers were bright pink, the CD player ate, rather than played, CD's. FUCK YES I WANT THIS CAR.

I totally found $2 in the seat the day after purchase too. Almost payed for itself this car.

Nearing one year on and I am still overjoyed at my purchase. The burning oil smell lingers strong in the nostrils long after even the shortest voyage. The massively cracked windshield makes me fear for every time I forget to brake for a speed bump. The standard Camry bonnet paint deterioration is coming along nicely. I eventually worked out how the fuck to jack the CD player and put in a new one and the speakers distort all the bass when I play my Trap banGers or Thug Life Vol. 1 at 1/3 volume like a bro. 

Pac keeps things fresh

Probably should repair this. Maybe.

 

It even has a fucking car alarm because, obviously, everyone wants to steal a '94 Camry. Once, the door closed in the wind with my keys on the front seat, locking me out. Luckily I had access to the long thin piece of metal required to break into the car. There is a dead battery and piles of work clothes in the boot and random bottles of beer show up from time to time. Off-road trips in the Blue Mountains have been an overwhelming success.

Totally passed rego too.

-anxzibitinyoxzibit